found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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