Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
