we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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