The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The air was thick with penises
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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