marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
