Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
