what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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