I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
