I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
