That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
