Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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