I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
