They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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