I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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