You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize