Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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