I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
