Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
