My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
