I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
