I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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