I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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