Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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