I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
