Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
