i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize