Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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