Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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