sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
