Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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