so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
