bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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