Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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