he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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