It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
