Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize