dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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