He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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