Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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