Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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