so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
