if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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