Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize