That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
