Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
