I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
