chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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