I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
