I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
