Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
