I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
