3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
