so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had to cum in my sink.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
