It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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