Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize