; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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