Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize