How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sober January is a disaster.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
