whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
