erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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