stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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