I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
time to smoke my breakfast
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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