Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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