I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
